The People of Haymaker

These are some of the important folks you might see around Haymaker, folks who play a pretty big part in the book by the same name.


Roosevelt Bly

Old Roosevelt is known around town as "The Man in White" or "The Gold-Plated Cowboy." Just take a look at him and you'll see why. About eighty years old and always decked from head to toe in blinding white with that big Stetson atop his head and that jewelry of his shining like the sun. He's rich as God, too. Lives in an old mansion overlooking the lake. And though he's been here for decades, he's no local. Between that and his get-up, a lot of us around here aren't sure what to make of him. Or whose side he's on.

I’m like one of those beech trees you see clinging to the duneside. Its roots look like old bones, but by God it’ll cling to that sand with all its might, just to keep its view of the lake.

Clara Hollingshead

Poor Clara has her hands full these days. She runs the Shipwreck Café up by the beach. She's the mayor of our troubled town. And now after years of trying and heartbreak- she's a new mother with a beautiful baby girl. But Clara had no idea of the upheaval headed this way. Hundreds of newcomers pouring into Haymaker. Violence and confrontations. How do you lead a town like that? And I hear things aren't any easier at home. That husband of hers... there's something going on there.

I govern this town. I serve coffee to this town. People here act like they’re not social, but believe me, this town can’t keep secrets.

Donnie Sarver

Where to start with Donnie? He runs Sarver Towing and Repair but he's truly infamous for his Welcome Wagon Shit Kickin', an annual fistfight he puts on where he takes on one unlucky outsider hoping to make Haymaker his home. There's a rage in Donnie, all right. Sometimes it simmers. Sometimes it explodes. And with the flood of outsiders now pouring into town, most of us figure it's only a matter of time before he goes full-on nuclear and takes this whole place down with him.

To be a libertarian I’d have to care one way or another about politics, and I don’t care shit about any of it. I’m on my own. I’m head of the Donnie Sarver Party.

Ash Capagrossa

She's a sweet kid, which ain't easy when you're in your teens, your dad's left, your mom works all the time, and you're the one having to take care of your little brother. She's also Donnie's niece, which is a blessing and a curse. But I'm telling you, that Ash is one hell of a basketball player. I've heard she dreams of playing big-time college ball. Dreams of going pro. Mostly I think she just dreams of getting the hell out of Haymaker. The way things have been here lately? Who can blame her?

Can’t wait till I’m gone. Two more years. Less than that. And then I’m out of Idiotsville.

Josef Novak

He's a good guy and all. He means well. I don't necessarily agree with the way he helped architect this whole migration of hundreds of outsiders over our border. But now Josef's trapped. I guess he's an expert in public relations, but how do you PR your way out of this mess, standing like some dwarfed referee between the crazies on one side and the crazies on the other? God help him, because at this point I don't think anyone else will.

Those of us who settle here have no interest in being fenced off from the rest of the town. We want to integrate into it. Truly be your neighbors.

Brenda DeBoer

She's a bit of a mystery, really. Doesn't talk a whole lot. It's hard to say how she feels about living in Haymaker. But people respect the hell out of her. She's not only one of the town's three cops, but she also travels through the whole region when there are suicide or hostage situations. She's a crisis negotiator, which is a good thing to have in a time like this. Right now, Haymaker's nothing but one crisis after another.

Don’t you start. Talking about my job like it’s on some different plane than anyone else’s. I hate that shit.